[that intent look, along with his words... netzach is struck silent for a few moments as he meets his eyes, finding himself unable to look away.
(a brief urge strikes. but he doesn't follow it-- if nothing else, midnight was clear about contact with his blood, and it's his lip that was injured. he's not sure if telling himself that is just an excuse, or not.)
when he feels he can move again, he runs his fingers through midnight's hair once more, the motion deliberate as he answers:]
Aren't I already...?
[i don't have it as an icon but i do want you to know i immediately remembered this netzach face writing this so you're welcome.]
[ jfc does he have a license for that face that is lethal
Which is to say that if Midnight thought he was having feral vampire thoughts before, they are back with a vengeance, to the point where he just doesn't allow them in. Or rather, he does what he's always practiced: he blinks slowly, breathes slowly, sighs, allows the urge to pass through him, through his chest and arms and legs, diffusing until that painful ache sinks into his flesh and just... settles.
He isn't hungry. He reminds himself of that. He just wants Netzach, and that's fine. Completely human.
He pulls Netzach back in until their foreheads touch, breathing in the scent of sheets and skin and the slight tang of alcohol until everything levels out again. (He also is conscious of his split lip. More reason to hold back.) Then he laughs a little under his breath. ]
Well... Yes. I suppose this is my way of asking you to spend time with me. But you already do that, don't you? Bit silly of me to ask for more.
...nah. I don't think it's silly to ask for what you want, man.
[he shrugs slightly, content to let his head rest against midnight's, to remain close here and breathe him in. it feels, just a little bit, like something is missing from that answer-- or there's something he isn't quite reading into it? one of the two. he can't be sure, but the feeling is there regardless, nudging lightly at him in the back of his mind. like he said-- netzach already gives him time.]
Think I'd like to see you more too, but- is that it?
[ Asking for what he wants, certainly. Asking for what he needs... Well. He's in the habit of getting those things himself. He's not sure if asking for those things will ever stop feeling rather useless... Even though he knows he needs to try.
Midnight's reminded of Netzach's question about his voice, how they got here in the first place. The languid quiet of his thoughts. Unsure of the signs, unsure of his course. Midnight has been quite sure of these sorts of things for as long as he can remember. The only problems had ever been management, context. Is that it? Midnight knows it isn't. He's simply accustomed to waiting for others to catch up. (Sometimes they never do. This, too, is something Midnight understands.)
Midnight waits for a moment before saying anything. ]
I'm content, love. If there's ought else... I think I'd be happy with that too. You only need ask.
[he nods slightly against him, taking that answer without pressing. either it's honest or it's what he's comfortable with saying, and in either case, netzach is perfectly fine with that.
winding a lock of midnight's hair around his fingers, he adds:]
...you really don't have to give up your bed after this either. This is nice.
[ Midnight adjusts again, moving up and over until his face is hovering at Netzach's crown, nose nestled in the soft fall of green hair. He's not actively smelling Netzach, per se, but a vampire's sense of smell is very keen, so he picks up little scents without thinking about it, cataloguing them and storing them away. The salt, the alcohol, the oil, the soap. If he had his full ability, he'd be able to smell him half a mile away, but right now... vampires simply enjoy scent. Midnight is a pretty bad vampire in a lot of ways, but not this one.
He feels the tug in his hair. When my lip is healed. When Netzach can ask more clearly, or once I can follow with what I want. Once everything is perfectly clear. ]
You're welcome to it. Even when I'm not around, now that I think about it. I do wake up quite a bit earlier than you do.
[it really is nice, to be held like this. as a machine, it wasn't possible. as a librarian... well, it just wasn't something any of them did. but he remembers how sometimes, he would wake up being carried from one floor to another; from chesed's back to his own, after he passed out drunk on his sofa. from gebura's, after he drifted off while she and roland smoked. he remembers it was comfortable.
(he wonders if yesod would feel the same way. if maybe he could use the reminder of what it's like, to be human and to be given this.)]
I dunno how you get up that early all the time... you know the stories say you guys are creatures of the night, right?
[of Course he has a thing for a vampire who likes getting up in the morning and not one that sleeps all day of Course he does]
[ Yesod certainly needs something. Midnight will eventually put his finger on it, possibly in the thread where Yesod's trying not to lose his mind at him outside of the greenhouse, but that is a later revelation. Right now, Midnight laughs, because for once, that is a question he's quite familiar with at home as well. ]
The urban legends, right. I don't suppose that the stories you have about vampires in your city have all of the standard components? The coffins, the stakes, the garlic, and so on?
[ Well, Netzach's seen him out and about during the day enough to know that sunlight is hardly a harmful factor in Midnight's day to day life, at least. ]
Hmm. Well, in my world, those stories come from common misconceptions about vampire culture. As a predator species, we can see in the dark and our sense of smell is quite good, so we're well suited to hunt at night. However, I've nothing to hunt here, as you can see. No reason to keep myself up and about when I've much better things to do with the rest of society during the day.
[ ... Well, what he means is that he doesn't see other humans as prey, not that he has literally nothing available to hunt... Same difference? ]
[it's fine, he reads into it-- there are plenty of people here, and he's said he doesn't have many he feeds off. with the context he has, it's more clear what midnight means.]
I guess it'd get pretty lonely, right? Only being awake at night, living separately from most people in that way.
Wouldn't it? For millennia, my fellow vampires lived like that... It was a different time, I suppose, but there's a reason why there are so many rumors and legends about us in the first place. Perhaps, in a sense, it was inevitable. Circular. No one cared to risk speaking to a vampire, and the vampires eventually grew hungry in their isolation... One wonders how it all started.
[ Because he doesn't actually know. The war has been going on for longer than history itself. ]
...it never takes much, so-- one guess is probably as good as another. Whether someone got scared and went after a vampire first, or a vampire got hungry and fed from someone first... things usually end the same way.
[that's just how it goes. how people are, human or otherwise. nobody even remembers, most likely, but what happened as a result? that always gets remembered.]
So the only thing one can do is try to change the circumstances around oneself...
[ ... But he's thought about this enough to realize that he's probably going to drive himself mad one day. Or, well, he would have, but he's not going to live long enough to get there.
For a Sarkaz, to embrace death is to embrace the last and most precious gift.
Midnight's hand wanders behind Netzach's head, fingers carding through long hair. ]
Well, at the very least, I shouldn't like to live like that. Seems rather dull. Thousands of years without ever seeing the sun...
[ ... Not unlike the way Netzach's life has gone, now that he thinks about it. ]
I know I already said we couldn't leave, but the facility was underground, anyway. No windows, no light. It's... not a way anybody should live, if they can help it.
[ Midnight continues stroking Netzach's hair, giving him firm pressure to push against. Confirmation that he's here, that he doesn't intend to leave. ]
And, well, it won't happen to me. So... if you ever need good company in living the rest of your life, call me. I am an expert in happiness, you know.
[ Midnight laughs just a tiny bit, but only because he's always surprised when people say that with anything but the utmost sarcasm. ]
Good. You make me happy too. [ He's... tempted to tell him that he'll keep making him happy, but that seems a bit like a topic that will lead into territory he'd like a safe set of lips for. Maybe another night. ] And sleepy. Your friend was right, you know, about your voice. Or at the very least I find your voice very soothing. Feels as though I may drop off right here.
[ Which is odd for him. He's used to suddenly losing consciousness, then waking up stunned and a bit disoriented. Slowly falling asleep is... certainly different. ]
[ He pauses his grooming for a moment, then feels around on his side table for his terminal, sets an alarm for an hour, then puts it back. He pulls the covers back over them both. ]
Should wash up, but... just a bit longer.
[ He pulls in Netzach again for a proper cuddle, nose in hair, fingers curled behind his ear, face warming in their combined body heat. Sleep... not bad? Sleep good, actually? Big if true, large if accurate. ]
[he says, as if he isn't tempted to turn that alarm off after midnight falls asleep just to make sure he gets enough of it. he's so tempted to do it.
this also would conveniently bypass the impending period of... well, lying here while midnight goes and washes up, because he has a feeling he might die a little bit.]
No? Hmm. I might get difficult. That's how we got here, you know... my modus operandi. I'll find new and interesting ways to frustrate you, trust me.
[ ... He doesn't actually mean to sound this soft and teasing, especially since he can't read netzach well enough to know he's got it as bad as he does. He's just sleepy. ]
[ All right. He takes in one more deep breath, finally gives in to the temptation to nuzzle the top of that green head with the tip of his nose, then sighs that breath back out. He is about to give this resting thing a shot. Baby steps. ]
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(a brief urge strikes. but he doesn't follow it-- if nothing else, midnight was clear about contact with his blood, and it's his lip that was injured. he's not sure if telling himself that is just an excuse, or not.)
when he feels he can move again, he runs his fingers through midnight's hair once more, the motion deliberate as he answers:]
Aren't I already...?
[i don't have it as an icon but i do want you to know i immediately remembered this netzach face writing this so you're welcome.]
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Which is to say that if Midnight thought he was having feral vampire thoughts before, they are back with a vengeance, to the point where he just doesn't allow them in. Or rather, he does what he's always practiced: he blinks slowly, breathes slowly, sighs, allows the urge to pass through him, through his chest and arms and legs, diffusing until that painful ache sinks into his flesh and just... settles.
He isn't hungry. He reminds himself of that. He just wants Netzach, and that's fine. Completely human.
He pulls Netzach back in until their foreheads touch, breathing in the scent of sheets and skin and the slight tang of alcohol until everything levels out again. (He also is conscious of his split lip. More reason to hold back.) Then he laughs a little under his breath. ]
Well... Yes. I suppose this is my way of asking you to spend time with me. But you already do that, don't you? Bit silly of me to ask for more.
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[he shrugs slightly, content to let his head rest against midnight's, to remain close here and breathe him in. it feels, just a little bit, like something is missing from that answer-- or there's something he isn't quite reading into it? one of the two. he can't be sure, but the feeling is there regardless, nudging lightly at him in the back of his mind. like he said-- netzach already gives him time.]
Think I'd like to see you more too, but- is that it?
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Midnight's reminded of Netzach's question about his voice, how they got here in the first place. The languid quiet of his thoughts. Unsure of the signs, unsure of his course. Midnight has been quite sure of these sorts of things for as long as he can remember. The only problems had ever been management, context. Is that it? Midnight knows it isn't. He's simply accustomed to waiting for others to catch up. (Sometimes they never do. This, too, is something Midnight understands.)
Midnight waits for a moment before saying anything. ]
I'm content, love. If there's ought else... I think I'd be happy with that too. You only need ask.
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[he nods slightly against him, taking that answer without pressing. either it's honest or it's what he's comfortable with saying, and in either case, netzach is perfectly fine with that.
winding a lock of midnight's hair around his fingers, he adds:]
...you really don't have to give up your bed after this either. This is nice.
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He feels the tug in his hair. When my lip is healed. When Netzach can ask more clearly, or once I can follow with what I want. Once everything is perfectly clear. ]
You're welcome to it. Even when I'm not around, now that I think about it. I do wake up quite a bit earlier than you do.
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(he wonders if yesod would feel the same way. if maybe he could use the reminder of what it's like, to be human and to be given this.)]
I dunno how you get up that early all the time... you know the stories say you guys are creatures of the night, right?
[of Course he has a thing for a vampire who likes getting up in the morning and not one that sleeps all day of Course he does]
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The urban legends, right. I don't suppose that the stories you have about vampires in your city have all of the standard components? The coffins, the stakes, the garlic, and so on?
[ Well, Netzach's seen him out and about during the day enough to know that sunlight is hardly a harmful factor in Midnight's day to day life, at least. ]
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[when it's literally legal to do anything you want between certain hours? yeah, someone who drinks blood might well be more into that.]
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[ ... Well, what he means is that he doesn't see other humans as prey, not that he has literally nothing available to hunt... Same difference? ]
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I guess it'd get pretty lonely, right? Only being awake at night, living separately from most people in that way.
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[ Because he doesn't actually know. The war has been going on for longer than history itself. ]
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[that's just how it goes. how people are, human or otherwise. nobody even remembers, most likely, but what happened as a result? that always gets remembered.]
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[ ... But he's thought about this enough to realize that he's probably going to drive himself mad one day. Or, well, he would have, but he's not going to live long enough to get there.
For a Sarkaz, to embrace death is to embrace the last and most precious gift.
Midnight's hand wanders behind Netzach's head, fingers carding through long hair. ]
Well, at the very least, I shouldn't like to live like that. Seems rather dull. Thousands of years without ever seeing the sun...
[ ... Not unlike the way Netzach's life has gone, now that he thinks about it. ]
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[that's exactly how netzach's life went, yeah.]
I know I already said we couldn't leave, but the facility was underground, anyway. No windows, no light. It's... not a way anybody should live, if they can help it.
[his head tilts a little into midnight's hand.]
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[ Midnight continues stroking Netzach's hair, giving him firm pressure to push against. Confirmation that he's here, that he doesn't intend to leave. ]
And, well, it won't happen to me. So... if you ever need good company in living the rest of your life, call me. I am an expert in happiness, you know.
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[he's-- unsure, at first, but with the reassuring contact, how comfortable he's gotten-
it's easier to murmur:]
It's fine. This makes me happy enough.
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Good. You make me happy too. [ He's... tempted to tell him that he'll keep making him happy, but that seems a bit like a topic that will lead into territory he'd like a safe set of lips for. Maybe another night. ] And sleepy. Your friend was right, you know, about your voice. Or at the very least I find your voice very soothing. Feels as though I may drop off right here.
[ Which is odd for him. He's used to suddenly losing consciousness, then waking up stunned and a bit disoriented. Slowly falling asleep is... certainly different. ]
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Good. At least that means I have one way to make sure you rest, right?
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[ He pauses his grooming for a moment, then feels around on his side table for his terminal, sets an alarm for an hour, then puts it back. He pulls the covers back over them both. ]
Should wash up, but... just a bit longer.
[ He pulls in Netzach again for a proper cuddle, nose in hair, fingers curled behind his ear, face warming in their combined body heat. Sleep... not bad? Sleep good, actually? Big if true, large if accurate. ]
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[he says, as if he isn't tempted to turn that alarm off after midnight falls asleep just to make sure he gets enough of it. he's so tempted to do it.
this also would conveniently bypass the impending period of... well, lying here while midnight goes and washes up, because he has a feeling he might die a little bit.]
I don't mind it, if you do get used to it.
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[ ... He doesn't actually mean to sound this soft and teasing, especially since he can't read netzach well enough to know he's got it as bad as he does. He's just sleepy. ]
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[he feels relatively confident in this, unfounded as it may be... especially considering how unfair that tone is.]
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[ All right. He takes in one more deep breath, finally gives in to the temptation to nuzzle the top of that green head with the tip of his nose, then sighs that breath back out. He is about to give this resting thing a shot. Baby steps. ]
No backing out now... You're my artist now...
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[he's said it before, right? he doesn't do things he's decided he doesn't want to do.
the reiteration of that, though, is-- he's going to remember that. possibly take it to heart a little more than he should.
but for now... for now, he intends to let midnight rest, falling silent as he nestles into place one more time.]
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