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USERNAME: unsafety netzach library of ruina TEXT • AUDIO • VIDEO • ACTION • OVERFLOW

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[fussiest]

[ kaveh's pen stills. his gaze sweeps back to netzach. netzach's eyes are gold, kaveh thinks. there is nothing truer than gold. ]

... as am I, Netzach. As am I.

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Told you I love you, right? I think I did...

[netzach go home. you're drunk.]

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You did. [ kaveh is flushed with love. ] I love you too. Do you know? I hope you know.

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[kaveh is busy drawing; netzach steals one of his hands anyway, in a fumbling gesture.]

Yeah. I know.

It's okay that it's like this, right?

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[ kaveh's hand stills. and then, gently, his fingers curl in netzach's. ]

Of course it is, khoshgelam.

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You believe me when I say it, right?

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[ 'i love you'.

the words sit there in kaveh's throat. kaveh has known those words; he has never known his own capacity to receive them. there had been a sanctuary of light and warmth, and kaveh had been the one to break it with his own two hands.

but it's possible to rebuild.

kaveh looks at netzach from where his head lolls across the table in the crook of his one arm. kaveh says, ]

It is impossible for me to lie to you, Netzach. [ as soft as dust. kaveh squeezes netzach's hand. the gesture is heartbreak. ] I believe it.

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...good.

[he gives kaveh's hand a small squeeze, in turn.

it was you first. before anyone else here, it was you.

he's not sure if kaveh fully knows how he means it, in what way, but-- it doesn't matter if he does, right? this is more than he expected, even if it's still unfulfilled. being able to say the words, and know he believes him, and take kaveh's hand in his own. he's happy with that much.

in that way, he's learned to reach for the sun. any lingering burns... he can ignore them.]

I'll remind you anyway.