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[abstractart]

USERNAME: unsafety netzach library of ruina TEXT • AUDIO • VIDEO • ACTION • OVERFLOW

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we did, yeah.

so i know he's restraining himself, and that it aches to do

i told him i don't want him to be left feeling that way

[justscribing]

Based on what you felt do you think he loves you the same or more intensely as you love him?

[abstractart]

i don't think you can compare love like that.

[justscribing]

Then it isn't a concern for you the possibility of mismatched feelings? You've probably never wondered before about your feelings being too strong for the recipient to accept.

[abstractart]

not really, no, but this is also the first time the recipients have actually known about it

i'm used to it being mismatched. i know it's like that with me and kaveh. i don't think it's that way between me and yesod.

[justscribing]

That's not quite what I mean. When you confessed to Kaveh, were you concerned that he would be put off by them?

I'll use Kaveh and I as an example again. Part of the reason I didn't tell Kaveh for so long even after we began talking again is because I was certain that if Kaveh knew the extent of what I feel for him, he would be driven off.

Things between us are complicated for different reasons, but I can understand why someone less secure would similarly restrain themselves because they fear the consequences of being too forward or intense.

It comes back to trust. If there's nothing in regards to your physical intimacy that needs changing, then best to start with that choice we were talking about before.

[abstractart]

i didn't think about him being put off at all. i just wanted him to know how much i cared about him. if he had been, i would have been okay with that.

i'll try it. i keep reminding him i like the intensity of his feelings, it just might not be enough on its own

[justscribing]

Unfortunately, sometimes words themselves aren't enough to be understood, especially for someone who is too into their head about their own feelings.

[Kaveh.]

But Yesod is a reasonable man, so I'm sure you two will figure things out.

Surprise 2/2

[justscribing]

By the way, did Midnight say anything recently that suggested he thought he was in a relationship with Kaveh?

[abstractart]

why would you think so

[justscribing]

There just seems to be some confusion that neither I nor Kaveh can identify the source of.

[You're fucking welcome for not getting thrown under the bus, Yesod.]

[abstractart]

[WELL. the thing is. iirc at this point he has at least SOME vague awareness those two don't get along...]

nah, he's never said anything like that to me.

[justscribing]

[What tipped it off, the blatant ignoring him while they were carting Netzach home after being stabbed?]

Alright. I assumed you would know if anyone, so it must have been something else.

[abstractart]

can't help you with this one, man, sorry

[the effort he is putting into not throwing midnight under the bus but not lying...]

[justscribing]

No, this is actually very helpful. My concern was that Midnight was the one with a misunderstanding, which would be a hassle to clear up. I find it hard to believe he wouldn't be clear with you as his partner if he was with anyone else, so presumably this is just some rumor.

[abstractart]

[about that.]

i mean, i don't think i'm the only one he's been sleeping with or anything, but i also don't ask

[justscribing]

I only meant in a committed relationship. [Yesod did, perhaps against his will, clarify that sex is not something they've defined as exclusive.]

Do you not think he would tell you if things were serious enough that he wanted to have a committed relationship with someone else?

[abstractart]

i don't know, i think he's a little committed to everyone in some way.

[justscribing]

What?

[abstractart]

what?

[justscribing]

Nevermind. Netzach, what was being together with Midnight mean to you? Is this a casual relationship? Is he your priority? Are you his?

[abstractart]

hang on, why is this about me and midnight now

[justscribing]

I'm just curious. Kaveh and I were under the impression that things were serious between you, so it's surprising to hear that you aren't sure if he would talk to you if he decided to give similar priority to someone else before doing so.

[abstractart]

i mean i'm pretty sure he would

[send help.]

[justscribing]

[He sees that pivot.]

You should also have more confidence in yourself.

[But also, no wonder Yesod was so confused when they talked.]

Oh, so long as we're texting Kaveh's going to be cooking another batch of food tomorrow. Do you want me to direct him into making anything in particular?