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There is more than one way to say so, even if one does not speak. So perhaps she knew somewhat, even if not the depth of them.

[ like learning a familiar recipe to try your hand at, even if it won't be exact. seeing something that reminds you of someone and wanting to give it to them. ]

But I do understand, of course. Mistress Gebura said she does not need admirers, but I think it is nice to hear it said anyway.

[ ... maybe she should tell netz she appreciates him... drinky thoughts. ]

...maybe she did. I don't know.

[he kind of hopes so.

(but then, on the other hand, if she knew what she meant to both him and to all of them, and still...)

netzach exhales a little sigh, moving on from that particular thought.]

Gebura's always been the type to do things herself, so that's not really surprising. But I feel like what she means is probably... she doesn't need admirers so much as people who will treat her as 'Gebura', not-

[ooh drinking is dangerous. but he catches it.]

Not as a Fixer, or as somebody to put on a pedestal.

Mrrrr. I... I do admire her as she is, not what she was before, but I suppose I may put her upon an appropriately high pedestal.

[ maybe.... a little higher...... perhaps......... okay, she does, but that's because gebura is amazing and awesome and brave and kind and ]

Do all of thee have a first life?

All of us except Roland. He came around later. Angela's situation is different, too.

[and roland is, as ever... kind of a mystery.]

It's not really my place to say anything about anybody else's first life, but-- we knew each other back then too.

Oooh, how astounding! Ehm, in our lives, we are always together as well -- my companions and I, those of is who are bound by the clock.

[ clumsily, but explained sort of. drinking is dangerous. but she's comfortable with netzach anyway, so this would have come out regardless of the glass in her hand.

but it is a nice distraction. she closes her eyes, leaning more against him. ]

Rather... they are memories, of a kind... Not unlike thee, but unlike thee as well. I am unhappy with most of them, in truth. Even if I am someone.

I think you mentioned something like that before.

[in the mall, about those other lives. he takes a sip of his own drink, listening curiously, glancing down to her where she's resting against him.]

What is it about them that you're unhappy with?

[ hmmmmmmmmmmmm. how does she put it. she'll quietly drink as she tries to gather her thoughts. it touches vaguely on things that she rallies against with all of her person, revolts her in others, and... even in the most ideal, there is a compromise made.

what is it about them she's unhappy with... ]

Different things, among them all... Though it more or less has to do with the beliefs I uphold, and the way I uphold them -- if I do at all. I wonder if thee would even recognize me in some?

[ maybe only in appearance, but what's that matter. ]

But they are, um, I said they were possibilities, yes? They are only... a kind of future I could have had, if I had turned one way or another, if I had not joined the Company I did... They feel very real, though they are not. [ ... oh... ] The-- the mall death, thine, the sort of... wiggly... feeling. That is what it is like. Except also not. No, it is... perhaps how thee have Ser Giovanni's memories, but also thine...

[ look at her babble... she's really trying her best to explain it. ]

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