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USERNAME: unsafety netzach library of ruina TEXT • AUDIO • VIDEO • ACTION • OVERFLOW

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I won't do anything at the studio!

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Why would that be a wo-

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Oh.

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Look, you were talking about putting the loft in because of Midnight being a distraction...

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I only meant for him to watch! Sort of like... you know. An observation deck for when you're doing large-scale logging, or if you've a foundational class with three hundred students and you want to brag to visiting scholars.

[ kaveh buries his face into his arms. ] Please don't do anything at the studio, Netzach, there's sawdust everywhere. I put in a fire-prevention spray last month!

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I'm not going to! I never have, either...

[after a second:]

I don't know if making an observation space is a good idea if you wanna ban Midnight from trying.

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If he values having a third appendage between his legs, then he will not.

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If he can hold off at his own club, I think he's gonna manage.

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Then the loft will contain him. [ darkly. and then, a solid beat later: ] But Yesod is always welcome.

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Did he ever tell you his assigned floor was tech? Maybe he could help out sometime.

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Ah, he hasn't. But I'd be glad for it, another pair of helping hands. I've been trying to figure out the mystery of the combustion engine for the last few months, but there is a lack of reference materials and hardly any parts to work with. [ kaveh's fingers flit back over his page. he begins to draw. ] How would they get it to contain itself into the limited space inside a car? It's absurdly efficient. I need to know how they made it happen.

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Something to do with... chemical reactions. Fireproof materials, probably. Think Yesod would know.

[he is tipsy and cars aren't his thing, but he's watching kaveh draw, looking so fond. this is what kaveh does drunk? he starts thinking about combustion engines and schematics and how to make things work?? god. he's so fucking smart. netzach loves him.]

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[ kaveh, for whom yet another schematic for a possible combustion engine mock-up is taking shape beneath his pen, lolls his head against the table. ]

I'll need to ask him, then. I'll have to remember to do so. There's always so much to get done; truly, I'm quite grateful that you are a part of this, Netzach.

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...m'grateful I met you, Kaveh.

[it's not good enough to say he's grateful kaveh took him on at the studio, or that they're friends. it all comes back to that, doesn't it? that they got to meet at all.]

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[ kaveh's pen stills. his gaze sweeps back to netzach. netzach's eyes are gold, kaveh thinks. there is nothing truer than gold. ]

... as am I, Netzach. As am I.

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Told you I love you, right? I think I did...

[netzach go home. you're drunk.]

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You did. [ kaveh is flushed with love. ] I love you too. Do you know? I hope you know.

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[kaveh is busy drawing; netzach steals one of his hands anyway, in a fumbling gesture.]

Yeah. I know.

It's okay that it's like this, right?

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[ kaveh's hand stills. and then, gently, his fingers curl in netzach's. ]

Of course it is, khoshgelam.

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You believe me when I say it, right?

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[ 'i love you'.

the words sit there in kaveh's throat. kaveh has known those words; he has never known his own capacity to receive them. there had been a sanctuary of light and warmth, and kaveh had been the one to break it with his own two hands.

but it's possible to rebuild.

kaveh looks at netzach from where his head lolls across the table in the crook of his one arm. kaveh says, ]

It is impossible for me to lie to you, Netzach. [ as soft as dust. kaveh squeezes netzach's hand. the gesture is heartbreak. ] I believe it.

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...good.

[he gives kaveh's hand a small squeeze, in turn.

it was you first. before anyone else here, it was you.

he's not sure if kaveh fully knows how he means it, in what way, but-- it doesn't matter if he does, right? this is more than he expected, even if it's still unfulfilled. being able to say the words, and know he believes him, and take kaveh's hand in his own. he's happy with that much.

in that way, he's learned to reach for the sun. any lingering burns... he can ignore them.]

I'll remind you anyway.