[he says, after mulling it all over for a moment. how does he want to love him, how far does he want to go...
he'd have to ask himself the same questions about yesod too.]
I think that's right, honestly. It wasn't... I was trying not to have feelings for him, you know? I knew he flirted with everyone. Didn't wanna mistake that for something else. Think that it made me special.
[and end up disappointed, on eventually remembering that: ah, yes, he's like that with everyone.]
But then there were things he said to me, and did for me, that-- made me think it might be something different after all.
[ that had been midnight with the chandelier in a darkened clothing store. kaveh knows it well, though kaveh also knows he wouldn't understand it, not from netzach's perspective. not from the perspective of a young man who had never been loved, not like this, not the way he had deserved. ]
He must have been like a waterfall for a man parched in the desert. [ says kaveh, with a small smile. ] Overwhemling, and unabashedly so. There's him.
[ that's him. ]
Do believe that he loves you? Not just because you are alive and Midnight loves those who are alive - but because it's you?
[ kaveh says it and means it, that singular word. good. ]
I believe that he loves you too. I believe his intention is to love you well. He's kinder than he thinks he is. So long as your faith in his love is unshakeable, you have a foundation upon which you can build what the two of you choose to design together.
I've always believed that just loving something or someone is not enough. It's what you do with that love that makes all the difference in this world.
Mm... I like to think we're doing okay with it so far. Yesod, too.
[they've been getting closer ever since this started, he thinks. it brings to mind, again, what kaveh just said about building something-- they had the foundation already in their history, and it's been solidifying further.]
I need to remember to ask Midnight about what you said, though. Figure out what his answers are.
I see. [ well, kaveh thinks. so long as all three of them are comfortable, it must work well. much in the way of a three-legged duck striving to become a plane.
this is where kaveh realises that he is, in fact, more than a little tipsy. he is already beginning to draw the three-legged duck on a scrap piece of paper in front of him. the pen had come from the crow's nest of his hair. ]
All three of you are welcome at the studio anytime; I'm sure you know this. Though if Midnight proves to be a distraction, I am thinking of renovating a loft of a sorts for visitors. [ yesod is polite! yesod is fine. ] There's hardly enough time during the week. You ought to spend time with them and have it count.
I only meant for him to watch! Sort of like... you know. An observation deck for when you're doing large-scale logging, or if you've a foundational class with three hundred students and you want to brag to visiting scholars.
[ kaveh buries his face into his arms. ] Please don't do anything at the studio, Netzach, there's sawdust everywhere. I put in a fire-prevention spray last month!
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[he says, after mulling it all over for a moment. how does he want to love him, how far does he want to go...
he'd have to ask himself the same questions about yesod too.]
I think that's right, honestly. It wasn't... I was trying not to have feelings for him, you know? I knew he flirted with everyone. Didn't wanna mistake that for something else. Think that it made me special.
[and end up disappointed, on eventually remembering that: ah, yes, he's like that with everyone.]
But then there were things he said to me, and did for me, that-- made me think it might be something different after all.
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He must have been like a waterfall for a man parched in the desert. [ says kaveh, with a small smile. ] Overwhemling, and unabashedly so. There's him.
[ that's him. ]
Do believe that he loves you? Not just because you are alive and Midnight loves those who are alive - but because it's you?
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that question, though, is one he doesn't think about long at all before he answers.]
Yeah. I do.
[he definitely believes it.]
When he says it-- I don't doubt him.
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[ kaveh says it and means it, that singular word. good. ]
I believe that he loves you too. I believe his intention is to love you well. He's kinder than he thinks he is. So long as your faith in his love is unshakeable, you have a foundation upon which you can build what the two of you choose to design together.
I've always believed that just loving something or someone is not enough. It's what you do with that love that makes all the difference in this world.
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[they've been getting closer ever since this started, he thinks. it brings to mind, again, what kaveh just said about building something-- they had the foundation already in their history, and it's been solidifying further.]
I need to remember to ask Midnight about what you said, though. Figure out what his answers are.
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and then, very carefully, while excavating that thought from where all the tipsy thoughts go to die: ]
So then... well, are the three of you?
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[give him a sec. he's processing how to describe it.]
Yesod's only interested in me, but he's been fine with me seeing Midnight. They're not involved with each other.
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[ kaveh has to think about this for a moment. ]
Well, is there a schedule?
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Usually I just let whoever I was just staying with know if I'm switching for a night or two.
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this is where kaveh realises that he is, in fact, more than a little tipsy. he is already beginning to draw the three-legged duck on a scrap piece of paper in front of him. the pen had come from the crow's nest of his hair. ]
All three of you are welcome at the studio anytime; I'm sure you know this. Though if Midnight proves to be a distraction, I am thinking of renovating a loft of a sorts for visitors. [ yesod is polite! yesod is fine. ] There's hardly enough time during the week. You ought to spend time with them and have it count.
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[this is the only thing he's retaining right now sorry he's stuck on 'are you implying i should fuck at work']
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There's already one, though. The hanging one, I mean. That counts, doesn't it?
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Oh.
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[ kaveh buries his face into his arms. ] Please don't do anything at the studio, Netzach, there's sawdust everywhere. I put in a fire-prevention spray last month!
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[after a second:]
I don't know if making an observation space is a good idea if you wanna ban Midnight from trying.
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